My spicy content can oftentimes feel like the elephant in the room or the smelly fart at the dinner table. It’s definitely there, lingering, anxiously staring down the dinner guests but never really addressed. Or at least that was the way it used to be. I have been doing “spicy”, or let’s just call it what it is – adult content, for about 7 years now. And for those 7 years it has affected my love life, family life, and friendships in so many ways. Getting my family acquainted with the idea has been like a long drawn out “talk”, but perhaps this read can make your talk easier.
7 years ago I opened up a Patreon account after having a pretty successful rise on YouTube. I was creating content that was centered around my dating life and for some reason that led to a percentage of my male audience deciding they also wanted to see my more sexy side. It must have been pretty alarming to my family when all of a sudden, literally in the matter of 1-2 months I went from barely making rent each month in New York City, to now being able to take my mom on trips to Miami and Aruba. I think when I began to spend more money on clothes, shoes, and trips, she began suspecting that I was doing something a little outside the box for money. She knew I was on Patreon, she knew I was doing “sexy stuff”, and she knew that I had done a boudoir photo shoot. I even showed her some of the photos and she quickly sheilded her eyes and exclaimed “don’t show me that!” and laughed nervously.
She was happy that I was doing well for myself, and that she would sometimes reap the benefits of my new found financial success, but I don’t think she was 100% comfortable with what I was doing. It took many years of these same exchanges we had for her to become even a little bit more comfortable, and to this day I still think she likes to be a little bit in denial of what I do. Like I mentioned, it’s an elephant in the room, a skeleton in the closet, or a crazy aunt that no one talks about. And sometimes that is what others in my situation will have to do: tip toe this little fine line and live in our family members’ comfort zones.
It has been 7 years and I have pivoted away from Patreon and now made the permanent move to a much better, safer platform for adult content creators: Unfiltrd. I am also the CEO & founder of this platform while simultaneously creating content. My content has evolved from boudoir to a bit more risque. I’ve even gone as far as to bottle my farts and sell them (yes, really). While my family has had a bit tougher time swallowing the pill that is my career, my friends have fully embraced it. Most of my friends have actually participated in my job in some way or another – whether it be actually joining the platform and collaborating with me, or working alongside me at my company. I have been very lucky in that regard.
And then comes the big question; how has my career choice affected my love life? People always make the rash judgement that being an adult content creator must make dating so hard and that people like myself will never find a person who values me. They say sarcastic and rude remarks like, “good luck finding anyone who accepts what you do!” or “good luck ever finding a man”. What these people don’t realize is that they could not be any further from the truth. In fact, before I was in this industry, was probably the time in my life that I dated the worst of the worst.
It wasn’t until I stepped into this industry and started to realize that I would have to be 100% honest with the people I’m dating and have a “take it or leave it” attitude, that I began to attract the same type of people. Since my time as an adult content creator, I have not had a single problem dating or in relationships, and I have always led every single date with what I do and the fact that my job has ZERO intimation to my physical boundaries. Just because I take my clothes off online does not mean I will take my clothes off for you; that is not how it works. The people that get it, get it; the people who don’t, don’t. I have been in a 2 year relationship now with someone who completely respects what I do, and not only that – embraces it.
My closing statement is: if doing adult content makes you happy and is something that pays your bills, puts a smile on your face, and makes the things you want to do in your life possible: do it. Ultimately, the people in your life that are meant to be there, will want you to live a life that is enriching, fullfilling, and on your terms.
Xoxo
Stephanie aka Stepanka
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